: views from the Hill

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

San Francisco Real Estate ... the sales effort

Found a 9x14" (or whatever) envelope in today's mail from Pacific Union/GMAC Real Estate, from our buddies Steve (Steven Mavromihalis) and John (John Fitzgerald). Cover letter is signed (really) with first names only.

Steve and John are shopping the sixth floor of the C. Alfred Meussdorffer-designed 1800 Gough. (1800 Gough units are full-floor.)

Steve and John sent us an eight-page full-color brochure with drop-caps and lovely copywriting, describing the Fujitso Plasma HDTV, the Yamaha MusicCast audio system, the ceiling mounted speakers, the kitchen, the bedrooms, the "welcome and dramatic sense of arrival ... opens to a secure elevator vestibule finished in exquisite black lacquer wood and featuring a unique silver leaf ceiling," "The residence becomes simply magical as dusk falls and the golden dome of City Hall becomes the centerpiece, glowing amongst the backdrop of San Francisco."

For those reading from afar, this is code-speak that 1800 Gough is on the southern slope of Pacific Heights, facing the City and not the Bay (or the Golden Gate Bridge, or Alcatraz, or ... well, you get the idea.)

Nowhere in the brochure is the price mentioned because, well, because prices have been known to change and who knows how big a print-run Steve and John had for the brochure.

"Dramatic City skyline views, peering towards Russian Hill and beyond to the Transamerica Tower and the Oakland Hills.

The range is a six burner Thermador (meaning "gas," I assume. I'd never buy this place without gas cooking in place).

I looked at all the pics. Found one I thought Ms. Paula would rilly like. Checked out the price.


Um. No.

And, alas, the pic I thought Ms. Paula would really like isn't on the Web site. The pic was of the walk-in closet for the master bedroom (which has TWO bathrooms so you don't have to squabble over who gets the sink first when you're brushing your teeth before beddie-bye).

The walk-in closet shoe shelving built-ins appear to carry six-plus pairs per shelf. Twelve shelves showing in the pics. WE'RE TALKING ROOM FOR SEVENTY-TWO-PLUS PAIRS OF SHOES.

Oh. My. [fanning self]

(How did our name get on Steve and John's list of potential buyers?)

No comments: